Strolling along
listening to my Discover Spanish podcast on the way to my third day of work in Barcelona
The second I
walk into work and am greeted with a friendly ´Hola, qué tal?´, I reply with ´Hola´ and a nervous giggle
and quickly shuffle to my desk. But why did I not respond when I knew exactly
what she meant and exactly what I had to say?!
Crossing
that barrier of confidence to say what you want to say while your head is all
aflutter is possibly the hardest part of learning a language. Using it in
practice when it takes a while to register in your head what is meant and what
has to be said in response can take what feels like years when engaging in conversation not in your mother tongue. Then,
having the confidence to burst out with what you think might be right, while nervously trying to anticipate the next
question or simply planning your escape route can be enough to make you want
the foreign ground to swallow you up.
Truth is
though, when someone who is struggling with your own language tries to
communicate with you and has a hard time, you only ever feel empathy and the
desire to help. Not once have I listened to a non-native English speaker gather
their words and thought ´Hurry the f*** up, pal.´ You want to help them express
what they want and show patience and understanding of what they´re saying; but
that panic in those moments of trying to find your words just makes it so hard
to gather your thoughts and express them the right way.
That’s why
the next time I am spoken to in Spanish, I will NOT panic, and I WILL respond
in Spanish, even if it is to say ´sorry my Spanish is a bit wank.´ Because if I
don’t, I´m gonna end up speaking this messed up Northern Irish English for the
rest of my little life, struggling along in other countries when I´m perfectly
capable, and that´sj just stupid!
Moral of
the story is, even if you´re wick, just say what you can. And if it´s really
that bad, lol and run away.
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